Zephyr Life!

Exam time.

2010-11-17T22:58:00.004+08:00

Exams! I feel so unprepared. Well nothing new there, owing to my forever-last-min style. But hey, I dunno if it's actually possible to ever feel prepared for exams. (at the uni level at least.) there's always that little bit that you aren't clear about...

This sem has been trying in many ways ; eye-opening in many others. Too many realisations, too may decisions to make, too many uncertainties, too many reflections.. It has truly been a challenging one.

Despite it all, I'm surprised I'm taking this pretty cool. No breaking down, no terrible mood swings, no outbursts of temper.

That's probably because I'm surrounded by great people. You get so paranoid sometimes with so much that you gotta do, you just have no time for the usual gathering. This is where the ppl you love impress you by being totally understanding when you can't afford to go on that girl's night out or that dinner date. A big THANK-YOU to you! I like it that you guys are so flexible and that you don't work on the "you give me x hours, therefore I give you back x hours" premise. sure, I end up feeling guilty that I'm not giving you as much as you are giving me. But trust me, my respect and admiration for you has risen quite a few notches and I know for a fact I will make it up to you in my own way..

And now, all I'm looking forward to is...

nah not the start/end of exams! :p

Honestly..

2010-10-05T22:30:00.001+08:00

The problem starts when..
1) People start giving their interpretations and meanings to your actions.

Imagine i've been a very hardworking girl all of term time and I decide to skip sch one fine day, you say i'm slackkk. I say I just needed a break. Weird example, I know. But why dont u make things a whole lot easier for you and me by just asking me what I was thinking?

2) People do weird things like beating around the bush to try get their point across.

In front of you, all you hear is "hey it's okie.. doesn't matter" yet whatever they do, seems to echo something like "HELLO IT'S TOTALLY NOT OKIE!!!" I am being quite a hypocrite. I just said it's better not to give your intepretations to people's actions. But that brings me to my next pt that the problem begins when

3)People prefer the 'nice' you to the real you. People can't deal with confrontations. Regarding the beating around the bush matter I discussed briefly above, if you were to approach the person involved and ask/confront them if they're trying to get a point across at all, at least 2 reactions are possible. One, they turn the story 360 degrees around. All in a matter of 10 minutes, you watched a masala tamil movie already. They were not referring to you at all! You read it all wrong. (yeah right.) Two, they say you're aggressive. They say you're argumentative. They say u aren't nice. I say nice is not me. Well not all the time. If you aren't close to me, I would tell you it's ok. And chances are I really mean it. But if we happen to be close, you probably would know i'm not happy. Well I would tell you. Not to say that I would use that incident to sabotage our friendship. I actually think being truthful can pave way for a more rewarding friendship. Well I just believe in being honest. Deal with it. Actually,go ahead and feel flattered that you're so important to me. Caz there's no othet reason why I feel the need to be true to you :)

So it's simple. Communication is key. You're unhappy with me, we can talk things out. They say time is precious. Let me be nice to you and tell you not to waste precious seconds of your life beating around the bush. Being direct may not always be the best way out. But add some tact. It may just work.

Sugan + Naf + Nas = TOTAL FUN!

2010-09-23T10:05:00.002+08:00

I loved yesterday! Awesome. At a time when i totally needed a break. Looking forward to the next one! =)
And Sugan, i will make it up to you for being such a lazybum, promise! haha

My blog's still alive!

2010-08-28T01:58:00.001+08:00

Thought tt shoutout was necessary. Haven had the inspiration to blog lately. And yes, I'm not gonna make a serious effort to sound coherent as far as this post is concerned. Jus anything n everything tt comes to my mind.

Ramadhan's here n it's been a great 17 days. Looking fwd to the next 13. Among all the other things, this is the month i feel like singing aloud the praises of this miracle called H2O. Plain water is the best water! (potential fb status update!)

This sem is by Comparison the most demanding/challenging one. I'm drowning in the amount of work tt needs to be done. Doesn't help tt none of the lecturers provide notes. I'm doing arabic as well. Very cool if not for the fact tt it takes up 6 hours of my time every week. Bring it on I say. I will pull through insha allah.

I suddenly am very full of regrets. I used to look forward to being in yr 3 so i can get out of uni. Now i'm not sure. I wish i was a freshie all over again. It sucks to look baq now. There's sooooo much i cud haf done tt i didn't. If u're remotely thinking of telling me I shudn be regretting n there's no pt, save yourself. there truly is a pt regretting. I digress. Coming baq To what I was saying, i am having mixed feeling abt my last yr in NUS. Funny but i'm not exactly excited to get out of here. I guess we get too comfortable where we are. I guess sumtimes we dun wanna grow up. I guess.. I kinda like NUS. Yes i do. I'm not surprised tt u're surprised i'm saying this. I'm surprised myself!

That a lecturer could ignite within me a true passion in my field of study after 2 years of me studying it rather aimlessly, is amazing. That a lecturer sumhw makes me reflect abt hw i've spent my 2 years in uni critically is inspiring. I am not sure how to pen down what i'm thinking aptly, but i honestly admire n m inspired by you.

I watched Madrasapattinam recently. The trailers made me expect sth close to a historical acct of india's route to independance. But i was so wrong. It's abt a love story set in india during the time it was gonna gain independance. I'm not here to do a movie review of madrasapattinam but if u've yet to watch it, it wud suffice to say that it wud be worth every min of your time. So far, the best movie of 2010 for me.

And Gv prakash's music.. Awesome! I think i am already becoming his fan. As if repeating his songs on my ipod prove my loyalty to him, i've been listening to pookal pookum again and again and again and again. I loveee the lyrics too.

"Vaalindri Porindri Valikkindra yuttam indri, ithu yenna ivan anbu yennai velluthae?"

Beautiful.

Tt's all for now. :)

Sorry, I'm late!

2010-04-10T23:14:00.002+08:00

I'm sure you guys have had your share of 'late' friends and probably haven't had great experiences with these 'late' people. Or who knows? Maybe you're the Mr/Miss Late yourself! (you culprit!)

I won't pretend that I've never ever been late before. I have, on many occasions. I won't pretend I've never ever pressed the snooze button on my phone a countless times and then slept off and eventually woke up to realise i've overslept. I admit, it has happened to me too. The key thing here is, it happens but once in a blue moon. Plus, if I'm late, I'm not dangerously late. Probably 5-10 mins. On time is ideal. But 5, 10 mins late, I think that's ok. I can excuse you.

Why are some people perpetually late? Just what is their special relationship with the clock that they are just not able to work with it? I'm not sure. Let me tell you, some late people have mystical powers. They can be in 2 places at the same time! (if you're one of those earlybirds and can't relate to the behavior of late people, and hence don't understand what I'm saying, allow me to explain. Say u plan to meet a late friend in Pasir Ris. Beware, your friend has special powers. He/she can be near pasir ris and at his/her house in boon lay at the same time! How did he/she do that man?! Amazing!)

Oh, and another point. If a person is on time, he/she can also belong to the late people group. Wanna know how? Say you guys are supposed to meet at 3. At 2.59, you get a call from this person : "hey sorry, meet at 3.15." okie. 3.14, another call : hey sorry sorry, meet at 3.30!!" this thing continues and you eventually meet at 5. Technically, your friend will be on time. But here's the catch : he/she is120mins late! Watch out for people who keep postponing the meeting time, don't fall for the trap!

Okie really, why are some people late most of the time? If you're always late, It could be that

1) You absolutely have no heart to give up your sleep and what do you gain from being on time, anyway?!

Wad you need: a hard knock on the head. Especially if you're meeting someone.

2) You overestimate your abilities. You think you have supernatural powers. You think it takes you 10 seconds to freshen up, have your meal, get ready and leave your house. What's wrong with you?!

What U need: a very powerful stopwatch to time how long you take to bathe, eat, etc. In the hope that at least then you will realise it takes exponentially more than 10 seconds to do all of that!

3) You believe in being fashionably late. Say you're a lady going for a party. You know there are gonna be hot guys there. So you decide to go late. You know the grand entrance effect?
The moment you enter all the hot guys turn simultaneously to look at you and swoon over you. Wow, wad a great feeling!

What you need: a bit of cow sense. See, prob is you think you're thinking out of the box. But you're not. There are many other girls out there who probably think the same way and they're all ready to spoil your market. And, don't be so self-absorbed can! The whole world is not awaiting for your grand arrival. Honestly, there's nothing fashionable about being late. Allow me to call you a fashion disaster because you just got it wrong.

4) You take 15 minutes to brush your teeth, 1 hour to bathe, 1 hour to prepare your meal and another hour to eat. How on earth are you gonna be on time?

Wad you need: You need to speed up. Seriously. Don't argue that 'slow and steady wins the race'. First, slow is a clear understatement of your slowness. Second, you are not steady!! Third, if slow and steady person were to compete with a fast and steady person, I wonder who will win. Any ideas?? Hmm... Haha, trust me, won't kill to speed up a little!

With so much said, you must be thinking i'm against late people. Not really. Probably because I tend to have a high tolerance level. Second, if I know someone is late, I just take the necessary precautions (haha) so most of the time I'm ok with late people. But I'm human too, sometimes I too get annoyed. It's not a nice feeling I tell you. you wasted precious seconds of your life just waiting for your late friend and he/she get away with 'I'm sorry, I'm late'?! You can choose to make a fuss, if you had hope in your friend. Or you can resolve to give your friend a taste of their own medicine and always be later than them. Haha. Otherwise just don't care. Your friend's not gonna change and you can't turn back time anyway.

:)

2010-04-10T21:14:00.001+08:00

I've always liked Vickram n shahid kapoor.. Joining the list next is... (drumrolls pls!!!) KARTI! U rock :)

Nijangal!

2010-02-19T00:50:00.006+08:00

I'm a Nijangal fan - and i'm proud to be one!

It's rare to find me watching tv much less following any drama on any channel. That's why i'm so surprised that I actually follow Nijangal so religiously. I must have missed close to 20-30 episodes but ever sice I started watching, I haven stopped. It's addictive!

And I don't like it when people say it's just a drama. Well, as a matter of fact, it is. But if so may people are talking about it, then I guess it's safe to say it's sth more than just a drama. Reality perhaps. Reflective of the essence of the problems as we face it today. So nicely captured.

If you asked me, it'll make a great play. How nice would it be if the whole script was compiled into a play and if it was taught at the O/A level as one of the books for tamil lit? I rmb studying books like 'Aasiya jothi' and 'taliyaalangaanat talaivan'. i rmb not understanding what those titles meant too. They were great but woudn't it be better if we had read sth we cud relate to? Like njangal I mean. hehe.

Part of today's episode had to do with Hari and his illegal affair. A clear juxtaposition of Yamuna with Lalitha. Hari basically cheats on his wife who's too busy with her own family to indulge her husband with attention. Lalitha, Yamuna's best fren pounces on this chance and gives Hari all the attention he needs. Hari is then drawn to Lalitha.. Naturally, the heart yearns for some care and attention,huh?

Cheating is wrong, we all know that. But it's the other details that complicate it. Hari is not cheating for the sake of cheating, is he? His wife isn't giving him the time and attention that he needs. Therefore, he looks for it outside his marriage. Tadaa! Lalitha offers him an attractive package. Everything that he's missing out on. (i don't want to talk more about Lalitha caz she's jus plain evil) Let's come back to Yamuna. She hasn't exactly been doing a great job balancing both her family and her hubby. Shouldn't Hari be helping her out at times like this? He's yet to even tell Yamuna anything. Whereas Yamuna made an effort to talk to hari about her difficulties.

If everyone who's married ventures outside when the going gets tough, then what's the point of getting married in the first place? You're not even there when your partner needs you. Marriage is sacred okie.

I said earlier that cheating is wrong and that the details make it even harder to point fingers at just Hari or Yamuna or Lalitha and say one of them is in the wrong. But then again, cheating is wrong and whatever the details may be, that won't change! So yes, in my eyes, Hari IS wrong. He had other alternatives, like talking things out. If you've really lost it for Yamuna, then divorce her and marry Lalitha. That way you won't err you see.

What you see now is a preview of what I would be like 10-20-30-40 years down the road when i eventually decide to become a housewife and have some time for the tv. On top of worrying about my kids and their homework, the household chores, the cooking, and whether i'm giving my husband enough attention to make sure he doesn't cheat on me, i'd probably be worrying about the episode I watched the night before! I can so foresee that happening. If vasantham airs more of such quality dramas that is!

2010-01-08T22:55:00.003+08:00

There's a very thin line between harmless fun and bullying/embarrassing/insulting people. You cross the limit, the least you offer is an apology. You don't just brush it aside saying "you shouldn't take it soo seriously, it was all in the name of fun" If it happened to you, it won't be funny anymore, rest assured. Don't go overboard, there's a limit to everything!

She Did Not Deserve to be Molested at Siloso Beach! (Really?)

2010-01-07T09:10:00.009+08:00

I'm guessing you have a rough idea as to what i'm talking about. If you're not too sure, check this out : http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20100104-189643.html

This is what I think. I wouldn't say she did not deserve to be molested. She was drunk + countdown party + bikini + 4 guys molesting her = her fault. Not being heartless, but she was vulnerable. And looks like she was alone. I mean you go to such parties, at the least u need to protect yourself! Can't say she's not at all responsible; She let the guys take advantage of her and that's exactly what they did.

But that's not to say I support the guys.. If the girl disgusts me, the guys disgust me even more. I can't believe the audacity of those guy.. they actually groped her on an elevated platform! not that it would have been less bad if they'd molested her somewhere private, but still, what were they thinking??!! And to top it off, they were foreign workers. Nice. Trying very hard to tarnish your already badly tarnished image in Singapore.

Oh, and you know what caught my attention? the part abt no one coming forward to help! What's happening? so many videos and photos of this incident up on the net and yet no one came forward to help? If i'm not wrong, pple don't go for such parties alone. So why didn't anyone help her? You's rather watch the show then try help that helpless girl? Maybe that's how we singaporeans work. But hey if i was with a group of friends, (preferable with some guys) i would've made sure we did something to help.

Still, i dun intend to join that "She Did Not Deserve to be Molested at Siloso Beach!"facebook group. In my eyes, The girl wasn't truly victimzed and they guys weren't totally to blame. It's sad it happened though. And i find the statement quite funny. If she did not deserve to be molested at Siloso beach, then Palawan Beack okie anot?hahah. Oh dear, the lame side of me kicking in. Have a great day everyone!

All you guys are just the same.

2009-12-24T22:54:00.009+08:00

I really can't believe this.. How could you do this to me Muzzy? After all these wonderful years, I can't believe you left me for that Bitch!! if i ever see her around, i will seriously murder her! you have no idea how much this has hurt me! i will never ever forgive you! i cried the whole of last night and the tears are still flowing!! You of all people.. I never expected you to leave me like that! i should have never trusted you! I hate guys!! all are just the same!!

Seriously, don't tell me you fell for that! Of course that was fake! hahah.

Okie now let's come to the point. I typed out that whole paragraph not just for fun. That's the reaction you are likely to (not always though) get when a girl just had a bad break up. No brainer right.. This is what usually follows the break up.
1. they are all reduced to the same cliche ==> "All guys are just the same." (This is the same guy they said they would love forever and ever and ever till their last breath just some time ago).
2. suddenly, you'd see them saying stuff like "I have many other stuff to concentrate on anw, i shouldn't be wasting my time on relationships now." (why did u commit urself in a r/s in the first place? bad loser.)
3. They attack love. What u may see is "true love is for fools", "true love does not exist" and the funniest of the lot, "love is a word i will never learn to pronounce" (If i'm not wrong this is from some song, one of my facebook fren had this as her nick. funny i tell you. You must be the only person proud of having a speech problem. Go for speech theraphy i say!)

I decide to do some kinda analysis on the 'all guys are the same" statement. Let's define the key terms first.
all :Being or representing the entire or total number, amount, or quantity
guy : Informal a man or youth
same : identical in kind, quantity

So going by the definition i stated above, i interpret that those who say "all guys are the same", are trying to say that.. all men, including youths, are identical in all aspects.
Let's analyze this statement then.
First, yes u are right,but only if you were damn literal about it. This is gonna sound lame but yes, all guys are the same because... they are all guys! bingo. It's the most basic level. Like when you say all human beings are the same because they need air, water and food to survive.

But besides that, this statement = total bullshit + lack of any evidence of any further thought on this topic.

Don't ask me why it bothers me. I am not sure. Really. but it does. it's like.. I take it damn personally esp when i sense the negative overtones. Of course u don't mean it in this sense ==> "all guys are the same! they all rock!!!!=))))" u mean it in the "all guys are just the same. they all suck!" sense.
now did u just insult all the great men in my life? Do you have any idea how great my dad is? do u have a rough idea how much love my uncle is capable of? or do you know how protective my bro is? And how abt muzzy and the very few but fantastic guy friends that i have? They are out of the ordinary; they are amazing. Now what do you say to that? give me an answer!

Assuming in today's context, we have full autonomy to decide on who we want to be friends with, only you are to blame if you get to know all the black sheeps .How is it fair u tell me. you drag the whole of the guy population into your damn problem and say all guys are the same just because your black sheep sucks. Isn't it your fault that you get to know all the wrong guys whose personalities/lifestyle/character doesn't match yours?
And really.. if you have a problem with a guy, then you have a prob with him and him alone. personal and public, 2 different areas. don't blur the lines. just because you think one guys sucks, dun conclude that all guys suck. Extrapolating is not always a wise thing to do.

So it's simple. Don't generalize. Don't. Because it usually isn't true. Just because one guy cheated on you or just because you had a couple of bad relationships, you can't conclude that all guys suck. It doesn't work that way. Plus if u make such statements, people might end up thinking you aren't capable of much thinking. Cause the truth is, all guys are just different!

I din deal with the "all girls are the same!" part of the story, caz i haven't come across any guy fren who's said such stuff. Well, it could also be that girls just rock but come on, that cannot be the case. It just means that i've done such a good job with carefully picking out my guy friends that none of them say such ridiculous stuff! I cannot say the same for the girls tho. Sad but true!

So let me conclude with this. All guys are just NOT the same. definitely not!

faceboook.

2009-12-06T22:53:00.006+08:00

I think it's facebook.
I used to have alot to say about alot of things happening around me.
But facebook has made me think of the shortest possible way to sum up what i'm feeling. If i've no inspiration to blog, all I wanna say is "Naseemah Yacob is slowly losing the inspiration to blog". Not go into the 5Ws and 1H of why i've lost the inspiration to blog.
BUT I still enjoy writing long long longg paragraphs so if i've a burning zeal to blog about certain stuf, i still will. I just need time to get over the facebook syndrome for now.

2009-11-27T19:03:00.002+08:00

OkIe So PeOpLe WaNnA bE uNiQuE, pEoPlE wAnNa StAnD oUt. BuT iF u ThInK u StAnD oUt JuSt CaZ U tYpE lIkE tHiS, hOw CrAzY! iT's NoT uR fOrTe AnYmOrE, cAz EvEn I cAn TyPe LiKe ThIs! AnYoNe CaN wItH a BiT oF pRaCtiCe!!

What comes arnd must have gone arnd.

2009-07-16T11:01:00.000+08:00

I dunno if my thoughts are ridiculous but i won't shy away from voicing them out.

I was watching globe trekker this morning and there was this woman talking about karma. and as usual it got me thinking. I'm not knowledgeable in this area and i haven thought in-depth abt the whole karma concept so pardon me if my thoughts seem rather childish/ill-developed or if they dun make any sense. lol.

let's come to the pt. many a times, when someone wrongs me or sth bad befalls me, i'm quick to say "why did it have to happen to me! what goes arnd comes arnd! whoever did this to me will surely suffer!' and with frens who have any probs, i'm quick to console them with the same dialogue. "dun worry, wat goes arnd comes arnd. he/she will surely pay the price."

but along the way, i started to realise that i'm not this perfect human being and i definitely have erred in many areas. tt's when i started to think more abt the whole 'what goes arnd comes arnd' thing. i mean if wad goes arnd comes arnd, wad comes arnd must have gone arnd, no? why do we act like we're truly 'victimised' when sth bad befalls us? shouldn't we be taking a step back to ponder if we have done sth wrong to some1, and if as a result we're paying the price? i'm not saying all of us are fundamentally evil or all of us are wrongdoers. maybe in some cases, god's jus testing us. but still.. given tt no one is perfect and everyone has probably erred in certain areas in life,(of caz some more than others), it doesn make sense to quickly qtn wad u've done to get such a treatment or for such a mishap to befall u whenever sth goes wrong.

as for me, i 'm not gonna ask myself "what did i do to deserve this??!!" caz i think i know the answer. also makes me feel less miserable when problems strike. well, better than wallowing in self-pity anyday.

trouble trouble

2009-06-16T11:03:00.001+08:00

2 incidents i wanna blog about.

1st, last nite, i found myself lying in bed for a long longg time unable to get some shut eye despite me being rather tired.

Not knowing wad to do, i decided to 'explore' my basic nokia phone which really doesn have any interesting features.

Click. Starhub->lifestye->horoscope->pisces. Message sent.

okie now u must be thinking i follow all those daily horoscope religiously. But i don't. i was expecting sth like "do not get angry today. it won't do u good" or "do not spend on impulse today. it mite not be sth u need" who doesn already know those stuff? But yesterday i was freaked out caz the message read :

"You may spend much of this monday morning in the gathering or reviewing of unusual information for a teaching job."

I really was lor! And the thing is I dun usually prepare worksheets for my tuition lessons but yesterday I did spend a gud part of my morning doing up a worksheet and taking down phrases and all. Weirdd.

2nd, i was on my way home from tb with my sister when i spotted my sister's pri sch fren. This girl and my sis dun exactly get along. So i told my sister she should jus act normally and we started walking. The girl's sister must have seen us from a distance and she whispered sth to her sister and they both turned in our direction with a look in her face tt certainly annoyed me. WAHHH, DAMN DISCRETE LAH YOU GIRLS. I SWEAR I DIN KNOW U GUYS WERE TALKING ABT MY SISTER.

ANd so my sis was annoyed and she was telling me we should jus change direction so as to aviod them. but i insisted tt we walk pass them. And when we were close enuf to those girls, in a voice as loud as i could manage, i said "I mean if people wanna talk about you, they shouldn make it SOOOOOO obvious. tsk tsk."

Must have seen the look on tt girl's face. Priceless. Mr hamzah used to say, don't trouble trouble unless trouble troubles u!

Growing up

2009-05-31T23:32:00.001+08:00

I was wondering today how it would feel to be a parent and as usual, my train of thoughts led me somewhere else. Not exactly linked but not totally unrelated either.

I'm not too sure about how it is with other siblings but as far as i'm concerned, this whole 'sister sister' thing did not come about very naturally for me and my younger sister.

For one, she was always this 'little girl' to me.

When i was about 5-6, i used to be busy preparing imaginary lessons and conducting imaginary classes for imaginary students,(ah yes, i loved to play teacher!). while she was this little toddler who was just learning how to take her first few steps. These were the earlier years where i very vaguely remember stuff. I dun know how i felt whe she was born. i don't know if i used to dote on her. I don't know when she took her first steps. I don't know if i was ever close to her. All i know now is that, she was this really little girl to me.

As i went on to upper pri and sec sch, jus as i was getting used to a few new 'rules' like "talk back to your parents whenever you can" and "hang out only with cool ppl" and "hang on the phone as much as you can" and "going home straight after school is totally uncool", she was this little girl again who had no choice but to succumb to every of my parents' demands and learn stuff i learnt eons ago like "matter is anything that has weight and occupies space."

Make a wild guess what happened after that? Well, when i was in Jc and herself in sec sch, it first hit me. "Oh my god.. we're both teenagers! she's no more the little girl she used to be!!" That realisation wasn't exactly positive. While i was coming out of those 'rules' i lived by for a few yrs, she's probably gonna start learning them. I cannot treat her like I used to say a yr or 2 ago, simply because she's no more a little girl! i can't say stuff like "DO WHAT I SAY IF NOT THE BELT WILL GO FLYING AT YOUR FACE!" because I can't expect submission. i can only expect attitude! and that's really gonna suck.

I used to wonder back in jc how I should go about with my sister. I rmb feeling suddenly like i had to be a role-model(HAHAHAH.) and i used to be very cautious about what I tell her. I avoided the topic abt my relationship altogether. Don't even ask me why. Call me typical but i was afraid she was gonna learn from me and find herself a bf too!

That was me a few years ago. If you know me well enough, you would know that me and nazeera are indeed very close now. closer than I ever would have guessed. we do have our occasional tiffs but tt's jus sibling rivalry and wad's sisterhood abt if u cant even fight with ur sister?

I wouldn't say we're how we are today because a miracle happened and we just became close overnight. that's why i started off saying the whole process wasn't quite natural. It didn't just happen. I can say very surely that we've both put in quite a bit of time and effort to get here. I rarely find a reason to keep anything away from my younger sis nowadays. (n of caz, she knows evrything about my relationship as well) we now have the give and take policy which goes sth like this: When i'm out with muzzy, u help me cover up. If u do anything silly, i'll help u cover up!

I've learnt quite a bit from this whole journey which is set to continue. 1, in any kind of relationship, you have really got to give and take. you can't just expect the other person to tell you about their experiences, you've got to share as well. 2, extremes do not work. you're doomed if you try to be overly authoritative with anybody. well it may work with some but as for me, i'm scared of the boomerang effect. 3, there needs to be trust. I don't belive in controlling every aspect of my sister's life. but i'm fine with her having her freedom(which my parents have problems trusting her with for reasons known only to them and god) on the accord that she doesn't break my trust. Simple.

Well yes, i think this is not totally unrelated to parenting.. with this, I hope i'll make a gud parent to my children in future.. All i can think of now is, "LUCKY KIDS!!" hahahaha. okie that's extremely thick-skinned and I shouldn't be thinking that far. till another time!

1+1=3

2009-04-19T21:31:00.001+08:00

Do calculators ever go wrong?! jus wondering..

compatible

2009-04-11T08:53:00.001+08:00

What's compatibility all about?

Everytime my mom returns from a wedding, she'd casually comment "the bride and bridegroom very compatible! they look soo nice together!" or "the couple so not compatible! the guy sooo big, the girl so small!" etc etc.

Not jus my mom, I feel many look at compatibily as just physical compatibily. the qtn is, 'do they look gud together when they're out?" But as far as i'm concerned, tt's wad compatibility in a relationship isn't about.

I know there are some who think Muzzy and I are not compatible. I absolutely disagree. But tell me u think we're physically no match and I will agree whole-heartedly. I mean come on. he's tall, i'm short. he's fair, i'm dark. he's smalll, i'm biggggggggg. we're jus soo opposite physically. (i dun intend to do anything abt my skin colour neither do i intend to take complan to become taller but one day, one fine day i shall bcum jus as sexy as muzzy! hehehehh)

As for me, i feel compatibility is beyond what's on the outside. I would believe a couple are compatible if they're able to exist in harmony together, if they have similar thoughts pertaining to important life issues and even if there are differences between, them they're able to complement one another. By this definition,I think we're compatible. U've no idea how it amuses me when muzzy finishes my sentences or has the same view/opinion/likes/dislikes as me. it can get so exciting to know there's a soul in the world who thinks just like you do. and when there's differences, I'm the least bothered caz i know those differences are respected. so now tell me, we're compatible aren't we?

But i admit it's nice to see couples who look gud together on top of being compatible! haha this is random but as i finished typing the last sentence, there were 3 couples on my mind! my bestest buddy Siti and her bf Ashraff, Yasmin and her hubby n Naf and Sham! I think they look so nicee together. it's like an added bonus! :)

ten

2009-04-03T23:16:00.001+08:00

1) I need more discipline and control in my life.

2) I think acting dumb/blur is cool and has it's advantages.

3) Give me ur opinion only when i ask for it. in case u happen to have sth to say for anything and everything abt me, i go by the one-ear-in-one-ear-out rule.

4) I'm starting to dislike sms. it's either i forget to reply or i'm too lazy to. I'd rather settle stuff over the phone.

5) I think it's mean to put some1 down bacaz of the way they look,wad they wear,how they walk etc etc. i see it happening among girls esp n i get really annoyed.But of caz, me being me, i dun usually say anything. ( i mite hve done it in the past tho i resolve not to do tt anymore.)

6) I'm very big on respect but i dun believe in respecting some1 just because they're older than i am. i need better reasons to respect any1.

7) I miss jc life n vits and deeps and nivy and machan and 33/06!

8) I wish for a certain family member of mine to be less of a tension party.

9) Any girl who has a bro who loves her, dotes on her and most importantly, shows her that he loves her, is an object of my hmmmmmmmmmm.. jealousy.

10) watching confessions of a shopaholic was like a wake up call. I seriously need to stop spending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my younger sis is the best financial consultant.

2

2009-03-15T14:04:00.001+08:00

Happy 2 years to us.

I've got no long msgs,I dunno wad the future holds.

I'm just very thankful god put you in my life and me in yours for the past 2 yrs++

May this relationship that we both have given quite a bit to build stay strong. Ameen.

2oth

2009-02-26T14:08:00.001+08:00

It's been twenty donkey years!

Happy Birthday Dearest Nafeesah Ka

and Happy Birthday to myself!

May this day turn out to be

as special as you are to me

and I am to you.

Muackss.

wishlist.

2009-02-13T11:56:00.001+08:00

TGIT! yes i know it's supposed to be TGIF but hey rmb i've got a 3-day sch week tt ends on thurs? on a thurs nite, i'm as glad as u are on a friday night. hehe.

Today was.. kinda productive. I dunno whens the last time i managed to get so much done in a day.

SO in 2 weeks time, it's D DAY. yeap my bday. be careful if u're gonna ask me wad i want for formality's sake caz u're not gonna hear "eh no lah.. dun need to get me anything.. jus wish me will do!" who am i kidding. there are so many things tt i want! hehe. and since i'm quite nice and i dun wan u to be cracking ur head over wad to get me, i've come up with a bday wishlist! so here goess!

#10 : Garlock!!

Caz i love her so and i want her entire collection! i intend to open a mini Dorothy garlock library in my hse. Hehe.

#9:Treadmill!

Do i even need to explain? I badly need to lose weight. I love my morning workout sessions with sugan but wudn it just be cool to own a treadmill?

#8: London weight Management

Again i’m not gonna explain. This would be great. Oh and it has to be unlimited for a duration of 1 yr or sth.. HAHA.

#7: New York Skin Solution.

I want a clear face with no pimples. Grrr. So yes, it has to unlimited not for a yr only, until my face becomes clear again!

#6: A romantic weekend getaway for 2!

Lovely!!=)

#5: Sony Digi cam

OKie there's a digi cam at home but it's my dad's.. and it definitely wudn hurt if i had one to call my own! hehehe. After some experimenting i realise i like sony digi cam the most. their colours are so striking!

#4: Sony Viao P

I love my laptop but there’s one problem - the weight. It’s a torture to carry a 2.2kg laptop all arnd hilly nus i tell you. the best way to go : Sony Vaio P series =))

#3: Samsung Omnia

I’m so in love with this phone! My current obsession.

#2: CAR LICENSE

You know i’ve been wanting to get my car license since last yr.. Just get it for me, somehow. Haha

#1: PICANTO

What’s a license if i don't own a car to put my driving skills to use? Dun need to get me a SUV or a sports car.. jus a small one like picanto wud do.. I currently have my eye on this really cute green one! heheh.

There u have it, my wishlist for my 20th. so if u've already read it, dun pretend like u nvr visited my blog and u had better make sure u get me sth from here.!heheh.

Mummmyyy.

2009-02-07T22:10:00.001+08:00

Wow, i've yet to do anything productive today.. wad a boring day it's been!

it's not that i've no work to do. there's LOTS to be done. i dunno wad i'm waiting for.. grrrr.

Anyway, i wanted to blog abt my mom. No i'm not gonna be complaining. haha. the day before muzzy's bday, i msged my mom. this is how our sms convo progressed..(oh yes, i needa add. my mom has no clue tt me and muzzy have been going out!)

Me: tmr muzzy's bday. I wanna go out with him.

Mom: So wad if it is his bday. Is it a must that u must go out with him.

Me: of caz it's a must!

Mom sorry i dun gif permission. Ask ur dad.

Me: No i will go! how come naf can go..

Mom: nowadays u talk alot. but sorry cannot go.

(i din bother replying and after a while she msged baq..)

Mom: Ok joking. Go lah.But one condition. Make sure u dun hold hands ha ha ha . .

this really made me think that... my mom is soo innocent and okie i admit it, kinda cute. i mean i really feel so guilty tt she believes me and muzzy haf nvr met outside. she doesn't even suspect me a little! if only she gets to know abt our meetings and all.. i can jus imagine how disappointed she'd be!

But honestly, i dun understand her one rule : Can have bf but cannot go out. ???!!! wads the pt..

Oh and not only thatt. There's so many other things abt my mom that I dun understand. You see, the prob is, whenever she steps inside my room, the room's sumhow in a mess. Trust me, there are times when my room's as clean as a whistle. Just that when when my mom appears, it's not. And at moments like this, I know wad's awaiting me. An angry oration about how me and my siblings are the most messy kids in the whole wide world and how other kids keep their rooms sparkling clean. then she would go on and on abt how other kids are just better than us in all aspects. But of caz, it didn't have any effect on any of us. Especially caz we all knew very well that most kids were probably just like us and my mom's just building a mountain out of a molehill. Come on, everytime i go to a frens place randomly, i always hear this. "hey dun mind my room. it's not quite clean todae..." i would readily add, "oh dun worry, mine's like tt most of the time ;)" haha. the pt is, my mom's not being realistic,again. most siblings probably dun't keep their rooms clean all the time, they probably fight like us, they're probably as lazy as us and probably dun help around at home all the time like us and the list goes on. hmmm..is it jus my mom or are all moms like tt?

ohh and my mom has a special skill. she can link everything up effortlessly. let's say she initially starts with scolding me abt my room being soo messy, it would end with "you're always going out! stop going out so much!" it's hard to sit down and talk things out this way caz i'm interested in talking out the issue at hand but my mom cannot help bringing in one prob after another. So like that how?

I'm not sure. Again,i'm not saying my mom's evil, mean etc etc. There's really no one who cares as much as she does. There's really no one who'd love me the way she does. But there's some stuff that's just hard to comprehend!

Just gotta live with it for now. I just hope I don't do this to my kids in future. Who knows, I just might.

.........

2009-01-30T23:02:00.002+08:00

i dun mean to be harsh, but if u'd rather remain anonymous, i'd rather u dun comment on my blog. caz i like to keep it personal, i like it when i can relate to those who comment on my posts.thank god, i get to choose whose comments i wanna publish.heheh.

Blog etiquette.

2009-01-21T00:13:00.001+08:00

Blogs have become very popular, haven't they? Every other person I know already has a blog or is wondering if he/she should start blogging.

Whatever reasons you choose to have a blog for, I firmly believe there are some etiquettes to follow. I know generally the perception with many people is "It's my blog, I write whatever I want, you're no one to question me." I am no exception. I have felt a couple of times myself that I should be allowed to express my views freely. And I still believe so. I haven't had any problems with that thus far and I hope to maintain it that way.

I was blog-hopping the other day and I realised there are only a handful who blog about issues they're probably passionate about. from politics to education to fashion. many others keep it at the personal level- like mine. I find some kind of happiness in penning down what happened yesterday or the day before and how i felt at that time etc etc. and i suppose that's fine. Plus it's easier for friends to keep in touch and find out about what's happening in each other's lifes. But there's alot of other things about many personal blogs that's really not fine.Of caz, these don't apply to protected blogs.

First, I don't think it's really nice to use your blog to lauch personal attacks on someone. Many do this for instant gratification. some take down the posts a while after publishing it, when they realise they've been too harsh. But you never know who has visited your blog already and truth is wad has been read, cannot be un-read. Whatever you put on your blog, it becomes public knowledge straightaway. That's why i feel you've to give enough thought to what you're publishing before you actually publish it. Because like it or not, whoever reads your blog is gonna judge you through whatever you're saying on your blog.

Second, I definitely will say quoting what someone else said on their blog and then insulting them is really not fine. I think it's basic courtesy that you ask for permission from the owner of the blog before quoting their views. because unless you've been granted permission, you should never quote what someone else says on their blog. And remember, when u disagree with someone's views, you're disagreeing with the post, not the person who posted it. That brings me to my third point.

If u disagree with someone's views and feel the need to comment, you're welcome to do so. But no name calling or insulting please. It reflects badly on you. If you're up for some healthy debate, that would be great. If you can't offer that, then don't bother wasting your time.

Fourth, for those who are on the receiving end of insults and arguments and comments that really don't seem to make much sense, just ignore them. Ignorance is sometimes the best defence against sarcasm and such insults.

Fifth, just because someone said something bad about you on their blog, it doesn't mean you have to think up a hundred bad things to say about them on your blog. Like i said, it's best to ignore.Unless of course you're competing for the "who can get bi*ch-ier* title. Caz by getting back at the person, you're not gonna accomplish anything. Just wasting time. Like what suganya once said, "what people say about you is their business, not yours." how true.

These are some etiquettes I believe should be followed. You might not agree with all but well it's just my opinions. Have fun blogging fellow bloggersss.

don't/can't/have never/will never

2009-01-08T21:22:00.001+08:00

i don't/can't/have never/will never and shud nvr ever attempt to understand 2 pple in this world - my mom and my uncle.

I had a bit of a misunderstanding with my mom last nite and i was realli upset abt it. nth annoys me more than being misunderstood. and when it comes to me, my mom tends to assume alot of things. and i'm nvr given a chance to explain. i think asking me wad i feel sometimes wud solve alot of problems. but i'm rarely asked wad i feel/think. caz the assumption my mom has is.. her assumptions abt me are always right. grrr.

and so i decided not to bottle up my feelings and i told muzzy evrything tt had happened, like i usually do. he has this way of putting things into perspective for me and his brain works at like gear 5 even at 1.am in the morning. he said i shud jus realli talk it out with her the next day. i know this confronting thing wudn work, not with me and my mom. and then i decided to send my mom this long long long long long msg explaining things out to her.this was at 7 in the morning. i waited and i waited and i waited but i nvr got any reply from her. n we were'nt even talking to each other at home. and at 9 at nite, she suddenly came inside my room, laughed as if she jus heard sth realli funny and said.. "thanks for the msg!"

i dunno how to react, mummy. and then i just replied saying "u can fwd the msg i send u to nafeesah but u dunno hoe to reply to my sms ah? " and she was still wearing a smile on her lips when she said "oh, fwd easy to do wad. reply must think alot' or sth like tt.

weird. like i said, i dun understand why she reacted the way she did. i was expecting some kind of silent treatment from her. n i was actually bracing myself for the cold shoulder. so unpredictable.

but wadever it is mummy, pls take tt serious msg seriously.pls!

like she's gonna read this, haha.

Twinss

2009-01-07T12:25:00.001+08:00

Twins. Wad does tt word bring to mind? as for me, i picture 2 very very cute and adorable kids looking identical from top to toe. like this :

awww vv cute rite.. well being a twin myself, i had some of this very twin moments too..

Then..

& Now..

but of caz, me and my twin dun at all look alike. tt's caz we're fraternal twins. meaning we come from 2 seperate eggs. not like identical twins where the egg splits into 2. haha. even then, being twins, we're always asked a few standard qtns like..

-are u guys identical?

?????!!!!!?????!!!duhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo. do we look identical????!!!! but evrytime we're asked this qtn, we smile politely and say "oh no, we're not identical. we're fraternal twins. =))))" n the reply we get is ==> "no wonder u guys dun look identical!" LOL. yes correct,we dun look alike.

and then some other qtns like "are u guys alike?", "do u guys feel happy and sad at the same time?" and "do u guys share the same interests?"

and our standard answer usually is "hmmm yeah certain stuff we're alike.. yeah sumtimes.. and no.. we dun realli share the same interests.." it became quite a routine and at times even a little annoying to be asked these qtns and to answer them! haha.

So i guess the perception is, as long as u're twins, u guys are probably very alike and haf the same interests and abilities.But twins, especially fraternal twins, are really jus unique individuals like everyone else. they dun share much similarities.

For example, naf can do beautiful henna art. like this:

If u asked me to do henna art on ur hand, it wud spell disaster.haha!

i haf felt at many pts tt there realli isn't anyone hu understands the real me as much as my twin nafeesah. i also haf felt at many instances that there's this special bond i share with her. but i've nvr once felt i was jus like my sister. nor haf i felt she was jus like me. when we younger, my mom used to dress us up alike, from our clothes, our shoes to the accessories.(i am 99% sure that up to at least 10 yrs old, our wardrobe looked identical) we carried the same bag. we went to same sch. we studied in the same class. we had the same pencil case.we had the same frens.we were in the same cca. and yes u get the drift. but things started changing after we went to different sec schs. tt's where evrything from the uniform changed. we had different taste in clothes. we had different interest. we joined different ccas. and we had different grp of frens. we no longer wore the same stuff when we were out. pple wud easily say we were sisters but no one even had a clue we were twins!

and now evrytime we're out at a relatives place for a gathering we get asked a different set of qtns like:

"why aren't u guys wearing the same thing?"

"why din u guys go to the same sec sch?"

"why din both of u go jc?" or "why din both of u go poly?"

no doubt we're twins but we are 2 individuals who haf totally different interests and abilities. as simple as tt.

and most recently, i get asked this qtn so much tt it is extremely annoying.

"ur sister wears the tudong rite? how come u dun wear ah? and summore u're the one who has gome umrah twice. how come she wears the tudong and u dun?u shud start wearing.!"

and my answer usually is "insha allah i'll wear it one day." i keep it at tt caz they're relatives and if u talk back against them, u're in trouble. But deep down i'm thinking..

1) what makes u think i shud wear the tudong jus caz my sister does? and who are u to compare me and my sis? don't u know we're grown up now and tt we're 2 different pple?

2)who are u to come hint tt i'm not as religious as my sis jus caz i dun wear the tudong? religion is btwn me and god. u are no judge. and whethere i adorn the hijab - is my personal choice. do i become more pious jus caz i cover my head? from wad i noe, hijab is not jus abt covering the head. there's actually alot more to it. of caz, in a secular nation like singapore, hijab in it's purest form would be hard to follow. but still wud it be okie if i wore extremely tight fitting clothes with the headscarf? will u then stop telling me stuff like "u've done ur umrah twice and u still haven wear tudong.. but ur sister already started"?

i really dun understand. maybe u're meaning me well but comparing me and my sis is a totally wrong thing to do. i dun understand ur basis of comparison. and i'm almost 20, i like to believe that i have the maturity to deal with my issues myself. i like to believe that there will be a day when within me, there'll be this thing tt says "u shud start adorning the hijab." and tt's wen i really will.

so when pple compare us, it gets really annoying. from academics, to what we wear, to what we are. just stop comparing us. In the past, my mom used to compare us too. "how come she get 90/100 n u nvr? how come she this and u that? thank god she stopped sumwhr along the way. comparing siblings, especially twins, in my view, isnt sumthing v healthy to do. i feel it's just totally insensitive.

I started out wanting to blog abt wadever tt came to my mind. i'm not sure how to end this entry but all i can say is, when u see us in the streets, dun ask us why we're not wearing the same thing or why we're not in the same sch or why we're not marrying the same man!

Beware : Perfumes haf mystical powers!

2008-12-17T09:06:00.007+08:00

I never knew perfumes had mystical powers. I always thought perfume was used to give our body a pleasant, refreshing smell. but u noe wad? there's another side to it too. Yes - many of the gfs who break up with their bfs claim they knew deep down that the perfume they bought their bf a few months ago was the cause of their split. I'm not exaggerating but i've heard this many many times. for a while, it got me wondering if perfumes really did haf some kinda powers to spilt pple!and my conclusion is... i don't think so.

But superstitious beliefs as such still exist and i guess i'm not wrong when i say i believe many pple do practice them even today. the prob is some of the beliefs are jus tooo abstract for me that they seem ridiculous. Some tt i know off are:

Don't buy perfume/shoe for ur partner– u guys will break up!!

If a black cat crosses the street while u're walking – it's pure bad luck!!!

If u wish upon a shooting star, ur wish will definitely come true

13 is not jus a number, it an unlucky one!

Dun cut ur fingernails at night - again it's just pure bad luck.

If your right ear itches, someone is speaking well of you. If your left ear itches, someone is speaking ill of you! bewareee!

If u pull out a gray or white hair, it will cause ten more to grow in its place. (anyone who has white/gray hair, pls test this out and let me know if this is true! haha)

If u break a mirror, it means 7 years of bad luck.

If 3 people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first.

If u see a baby in your dream, it signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings and a love affair may be blooming for you in your near future.

If a woman dreams she is nursing a baby, she will be deceived by the one she trusts the most

If you dream of death it's a sign of a birth, if you dream of birth, it's a sign of death.

If u guys noe anymore, pls share with me. these beliefs can get extremely interesting. hehe..

i won't be a hypocrite here, i actually used to belief that the 3 pple taking photograph thingy was realli true. evrytime i took a pic with 2 others, i scared myself thinking i was gonna die first! haha. but i've grown out of it now. it really doesn make sense to me. tell these to my mother's grandmother's grandmother's generation and they mite believe these beliefs without any questioning at all. but it's different now and pple nowadays are driven by logic and reasoning. and fact has it that both reason and logic are missing from most of these superstitious beliefs. how to believe them? yet many pple still do. maybe it's out of fear that there's sth to all these beliefs and failure to follow them mite mean them harm. i dunno.. but as for me, i think most of them dun make sense and i've felt alot of times that they actually conflict with my religious belief.

Naz also once told me rasheed bro got her a perfume. and no, they din break up. they're happily married rmb? muzzy once bought me shoe.. and no, we din walk out of each other's life or watsoever. in fact,we're getting closer each day. so now, can u make a wild guess wad i'm gonna get muzzy for his birthday next yr?? Yes yes!! perfume, shoes, handkerchief, watches, and maybe undegarments(jus in case someone comes up with 'u buy undergarments for ur bf and u guys will break up' hahaha) and then i'll wait and see wad happens. but sadly, i can say 99.999999999% nth will happen. caz i put my faith in god. and the prayers i make to him. not in the mysical powers of the perfume or the shoe.

Vj vs Surya

2008-12-10T11:39:00.008+08:00

I jus cant understand why vijay is more popular than surya when all his movies are plain trash and most of the time, they dun make any sense. 1 movie he's superman, in another he's ultraman, doing stuff normal human beings probably cant do. on the other hand, surya's movies are worth watching. they aren't trash and he doesn portray himself to be some super human who can defeat 200 men all by himself. and yet he's not as popular. grrrrrrrrrrr.

i think the bf is a little pissed caz he took off yesterday jus so tt we cud meet but i jus had to fall sick. =(( and lately, i've been postponing the meetings soo yes.but it's not deliberate. thinking of how to appease him latr. i suck at this.. i'm soo not romantic. so i guess i'll jus appear sumwhr near his workplace and hopeee that he melts upon seeing me and gets baq to normal. hahaha.

i'm feeling kinda bad for a certain fren of mine, who's identity i cant quite reveal. i know it sucks when ur bf hides stuff away from u. i cant understand why u need to lie/hide stuff away from ur girl if u feel u aren't doing sth wrong. and if u feel guitly, u shud stop doing wad u're doing. and girls, if u happen to be frens with a guy who already has a gf, and if he devotes more time to u then he does to his own gf, i think it's time u do sth. and not jus say "i tell him many times that he should talk to his gf but he jus wont listen!' u can always press the 'end call' button on ur hp if he refuses to listen to u. jus dun be the reason why a developed relationship breaks.

How superficial..

2008-11-20T00:07:00.011+08:00

My worst fears have come true - Muzzy's 2 timing me!! and this the best part : it's not a girl it's a guyyy called mohan! at least if it was some other girl, it would haf been better... wait wait, who am i kidding? equally bad both ways! and he claims tt i should brace polygamy. *sobsob* wad am i to do now?

lol, kidding.

But it's true that muzzy and i call his bestest fren his bf caz he's always out with him and they spend sooooo much of time together (god knows wht they do behind closed doors)that i'm overcome with jealousy! haha, enuf of the drama.

and yes, u'd see a poll on my page : Yakult vs Vitagen. rmb to vote kkk. ahaha

Okie, coming to what i've been wanting to blog about.
One of the jc mates, upon discovering that i was attached, said : "nas is attached???!!! definitely only because she's a nice girl...."
I'm not shocked at her comment, i was kinda expecting that from someone. I think the perception is that it's the gud looking girls with hot bods who are head turners and the likely to be attached sort.(there's this whole thing abt small is sexy gg on) i'm not gud looking nor am i anywhere near sexy. so it came as a shock to this girl in qtn and her likes tt i was even attached.

Another thing i observe is, anyone who knows i'm attached assumes that me, being the less gud-looking partner was after my bf. and they gimme the "err, really?" kinda expression when they find out it's actually the other way round.

I have one word for these pple : Superficial. Everyone is superficial to a certain extent. But if u make certain assumptions because of the way i look and because of my size, i'm disgusted. If u think that a girl who wins a beauty contest is worth more than a girl who doesn't, again i'm disgusted.

And i'm glad, very very glad, that my relationship is one that's nowhere near superficial. It makes me feel blessed tt whenever i get insecure, my other half looks at me lovingly and says "i don't care what others think. u're beautiful in my eyes."
i rejoice in the knowledge that this is a union that's based not on my looks nor my size. It's sth much,much deeper than tt. And yes, it really doesnt affect me that u think i'm attached only because i'm a nice girl. at least it's not for the wrong reasons like i've a fair and pretty face or a body thinner than the bamboo stick i haf at home. hahah.

Arranged?

2008-11-13T11:26:00.006+08:00

I recently heard about a case where a girl’s very strict and pro arrange marriage father found out about her relationship and you could guess the kind of response his discovery elicited. Yes right, “it’s either family or him!” he ordered. I don’t quite know the status quo but all I can do is pity the plight of the girl for the daunting task that lies ahead. I’m prompted to ask: what’s so wrong about love marriages?! In a part of the world where dating is now quite a norm and an accepted idea and individual rights are emphasized upon, why are there still a significant number who tremendously oppose love marriages?

The most common argument I hear against love marriages is that when in love, both partners are at the “I need to impress” mode. They put up their best, do whatever it takes to impress their partner. It is after marriage that the couple get tired of the drama and you get to know who your partner really is. Problems then arise because both people behave so differently that it’s so hard for the other person to relate to. That’s when u hear stuff like “before marriage, he would write me poems every night. But nowadays he doesn’t even bother!” Does this point in the “love marriages don’t work” direction? I do not think so. The fault is with the individuals, not with love marriages. It’s the individual who fails to understand that relationships are about understanding your partner and not about trying to become your partner and doing everything that your partner likes. There are in fact many, many instances where love marriages lead to happy beginnings and endings. These are the cases where the 2 individuals have an insight to what makes a relationship work.

And then on arranged marriages, parents often insist that they know better and they themselves or a matchmaker would do a better job at finding a suitor for their daughter/son. Take for example my mom. She actually wanted me or my twin to marry a 27 yr old man!!! Can you believe it?! (I dunno if mom was serious but thank god he’s married now!haha) And this was after she discovered we already had bfs. The reason? “Oh he’s 27. No need to wait so long to get married. He has a car n he’s working already, he’s stable. Wad else u want?” tsk tsk. See, this is exactly wad i’m talking about. The matchmaker has priorities that are totally different or considered insignificant to the person involved. And yet parents think matchmaking would work? How so? You say you mean your daughter well and you’re finding her a match with her interest at heart.and yet you do exactly what repulses her like get her a match with little respect to her likings? with little respect to her rights that u deem them insignificant? Hmmmmmm. contradictory. I would say arranged marriages work only if the party involved is genuinely willing and is not forced.

I’m not insinuating that I am against arranged marriages or pro love marriages. I just wonder why there’s such a mindset to begin with. Why not accept it as it comes? If both the individuals concerned are pleased with a union arranged by the matchmaker, great. If they’ve fallen in love and wish to take their relationship to the next level and get married, so be it, let them be. Why oppose their decision? Why force upon your values and traditions on them? After all, marriage is the union of 2 hearts. What matters is both are happy. In my opinion, everything else is secondary.

And the 10 most irritating phrases are...

2008-11-08T09:37:00.013+08:00

I read in the papers today that oxford uni has put together a list of 10 most irritating phrases.

They are :

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

Because the context is different, i couldn relate to all the phrases. But here's my version. top 10 irritating words/phrases. and since i find all of them like totally annoying, i'm not gonna rank them in any order.

Awesome

how about other words like stunning, magnificient, over-whelming or breathtaking?

I totally agree

i dun understand why but i hear this quite alot. maybe pple like the way 'totally' sounds!

it's like really annoying when you like try to use like over 5000 'likes' in like a few sentences.

You know

i don't know.

literally

not one day in sch passes by without me hearing this word. there really isn't a need to use the word 'literally' after every sentence! eg. 'he beat her up, literally.' he blocked her, literally'. huh?!

random

this is the hit word! u can stop feeling random always already. haha.

Let me be honest

were u lying thru ur teeth all this while?!

Damn annoying

yet another hit. every little thing that goes wrong is 'damn annoying!'

so unfair

yes everything is. tell me sth i don't know!

this word is sooo popular but i'll update it later caz i still dunno whatthehell it means!

i won't be a hypocrite and say i dun use any of those phrases at all. i do, definitely i do. but sumtimes when a word is used too commonly or misused, it has the tendency to irritate. oh yes, there's one more i wanted to add. it would defnitely top the list. using 'although' and 'but' in the same sentence. eg."Although he doesn't do his homework, but he is very clever" i hear this even in uni! can get frustrating i tell you. it jus beats me that even students who are supposedly good with their language make such mistakes.