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i dun mean to be harsh, but if u'd rather remain anonymous, i'd rather u dun comment on my blog. caz i like to keep it personal, i like it when i can relate to those who comment on my posts.thank god, i get to choose whose comments i wanna publish.heheh.

Blog etiquette.

Blogs have become very popular, haven't they? Every other person I know already has a blog or is wondering if he/she should start blogging.

Whatever reasons you choose to have a blog for, I firmly believe there are some etiquettes to follow. I know generally the perception with many people is "It's my blog, I write whatever I want, you're no one to question me." I am no exception. I have felt a couple of times myself that I should be allowed to express my views freely. And I still believe so. I haven't had any problems with that thus far and I hope to maintain it that way.

I was blog-hopping the other day and I realised there are only a handful who blog about issues they're probably passionate about. from politics to education to fashion. many others keep it at the personal level- like mine. I find some kind of happiness in penning down what happened yesterday or the day before and how i felt at that time etc etc. and i suppose that's fine. Plus it's easier for friends to keep in touch and find out about what's happening in each other's lifes. But there's alot of other things about many personal blogs that's really not fine.Of caz, these don't apply to protected blogs.


First, I don't think it's really nice to use your blog to lauch personal attacks on someone. Many do this for instant gratification. some take down the posts a while after publishing it, when they realise they've been too harsh. But you never know who has visited your blog already and truth is wad has been read, cannot be un-read. Whatever you put on your blog, it becomes public knowledge straightaway. That's why i feel you've to give enough thought to what you're publishing before you actually publish it. Because like it or not, whoever reads your blog is gonna judge you through whatever you're saying on your blog.

Second, I definitely will say quoting what someone else said on their blog and then insulting them is really not fine. I think it's basic courtesy that you ask for permission from the owner of the blog before quoting their views. because unless you've been granted permission, you should never quote what someone else says on their blog. And remember, when u disagree with someone's views, you're disagreeing with the post, not the person who posted it. That brings me to my third point.

If u disagree with someone's views and feel the need to comment, you're welcome to do so. But no name calling or insulting please. It reflects badly on you. If you're up for some healthy debate, that would be great. If you can't offer that, then don't bother wasting your time.

Fourth, for those who are on the receiving end of insults and arguments and comments that really don't seem to make much sense, just ignore them. Ignorance is sometimes the best defence against sarcasm and such insults.

Fifth, just because someone said something bad about you on their blog, it doesn't mean you have to think up a hundred bad things to say about them on your blog. Like i said, it's best to ignore.Unless of course you're competing  for the "who can get bi*ch-ier* title. Caz by getting back at the person, you're not gonna accomplish anything. Just wasting time. Like what suganya once said, "what people say about you is their business, not yours." how true.

These are some etiquettes I believe should be followed. You might not agree with all but well it's just my opinions. Have fun blogging fellow bloggersss.

don't/can't/have never/will never

i don't/can't/have never/will never and shud nvr ever attempt to understand 2 pple in this world - my mom and my uncle.

I had a bit of a misunderstanding with my mom last nite and i was realli upset abt it. nth annoys me more than being misunderstood. and when it comes to me, my mom tends to assume alot of things. and i'm nvr given a chance to explain. i think asking me wad i feel sometimes wud solve alot of problems. but i'm rarely asked wad i feel/think. caz the assumption my mom has is.. her assumptions abt me are always right. grrr.

and so i decided not to bottle up my feelings and i told muzzy evrything tt had happened, like i usually do. he has this way of putting things into perspective for me and his brain works at like gear 5 even at 1.am in the morning. he said i shud jus realli talk it out with her the next day. i know this confronting thing wudn work, not with me and my mom. and then i decided to send my mom this long long long long long msg explaining things out to her.this was at 7 in the morning. i waited and i waited and i waited but i nvr got any reply from her. n we were'nt even talking to each other at home. and at 9 at nite, she suddenly came inside my room, laughed as if she jus heard sth realli funny and said.. "thanks for the msg!"

i dunno how to react, mummy. and then i just replied saying "u can fwd the msg i send u to nafeesah but u dunno hoe to reply to my sms ah? " and she was still wearing a smile on her lips when she said "oh, fwd easy to do wad. reply must think alot' or sth like tt.

weird. like i said, i dun understand why she reacted the way she did. i was expecting some kind of silent treatment from her. n i was actually bracing myself for the cold shoulder. so unpredictable.

but wadever it is mummy, pls take tt serious msg seriously.pls!

like she's gonna read this, haha.

Twinss

Twins. Wad does tt word bring to mind? as for me, i picture 2 very very cute and adorable kids looking identical from top to toe. like this :

awww vv cute rite.. well being a twin myself, i had some of this very twin moments too..

Then..

& Now..

but of caz, me and my twin dun at all look alike. tt's caz we're fraternal twins. meaning we come from 2 seperate eggs. not like identical twins where the egg splits into 2. haha. even then, being twins, we're always asked a few standard qtns like..

-are u guys identical?

?????!!!!!?????!!!duhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo. do we look identical????!!!!  but evrytime we're asked this qtn, we smile politely and say "oh no, we're not identical. we're fraternal twins. =))))" n the reply we get is ==> "no wonder u guys dun look identical!" LOL. yes correct,we dun look alike.

and then some other qtns like "are u guys alike?", "do u guys feel happy and sad at the same time?" and "do u guys share the same interests?"

and our standard answer usually is "hmmm yeah certain stuff we're alike.. yeah sumtimes.. and no.. we dun realli share the same interests.." it became quite a routine and at times even a little annoying to be asked these qtns and to answer them! haha.

So i guess the perception is, as long as u're twins, u guys are probably very alike and haf the same interests and abilities.But twins, especially fraternal twins, are really jus unique individuals like everyone else. they dun share much similarities.

For example, naf can do beautiful henna art. like this:

If u asked me to do henna art on ur hand, it wud spell disaster.haha!

i haf felt at many pts tt there realli isn't anyone hu understands the real me as much as my twin nafeesah. i also haf felt at many instances that there's this special bond i share with her. but i've nvr once felt i was jus like my sister. nor haf i felt she was jus like me. when we younger, my mom used to dress us up alike, from our clothes, our shoes to the accessories.(i am 99% sure that up to at least 10 yrs old, our wardrobe looked identical) we carried the same bag. we went to same sch. we studied in the same class. we had the same pencil case.we had the same frens.we were in the same cca. and yes u get the drift. but things started changing after we went to different sec schs. tt's where evrything from the uniform changed. we had different taste in clothes. we had different interest. we joined different ccas. and we had different grp of frens. we no longer wore the same stuff when we were out. pple wud easily say we were sisters but no one even had a clue we were twins!

and now evrytime we're out at a relatives place for a gathering we get asked a different set of qtns like:

"why aren't u guys wearing the same thing?"

"why din u guys go to the same sec sch?"

"why din both of u go jc?" or "why din both of u go poly?"

no doubt we're twins but we are 2 individuals who haf totally different interests and abilities. as simple as tt.

and most recently, i get asked this qtn so much tt it is extremely annoying.

"ur sister wears the tudong rite? how come u dun wear ah? and summore u're the one who has gome umrah twice. how come she wears the tudong and u dun?u shud start wearing.!"

and my answer usually is "insha allah i'll wear it one day." i keep it at tt caz they're relatives and if u talk back against them, u're in trouble. But deep down i'm thinking..

1) what makes u think  i shud wear the tudong jus caz my sister does? and who are u to compare me and my sis? don't u know we're grown up now and tt we're 2 different pple?

2)who are u to come hint tt i'm not as religious as my sis jus caz i dun wear the tudong? religion is btwn me and god. u are no judge. and whethere i adorn the hijab - is my personal choice. do i become more pious jus caz i cover my head? from wad i noe, hijab is not jus abt covering the head. there's actually alot more to it. of caz, in a secular nation like singapore, hijab in it's purest form would be hard to follow. but still wud it be okie if i wore extremely tight fitting clothes with the headscarf? will u then stop telling me stuff like "u've done ur umrah twice and u still haven wear tudong.. but ur sister already started"?

i really dun understand. maybe u're meaning me well but comparing me and my sis is a totally wrong thing to do. i dun understand ur basis of comparison. and i'm almost 20, i like to believe that i have the maturity to deal with my issues myself. i like to believe that there will be a day when within me, there'll be this thing tt says "u shud start adorning the hijab." and tt's wen i really will.

so when pple compare us, it gets really annoying. from academics, to what we wear, to what we are.  just stop comparing us. In the past, my mom used to compare us too. "how come she get 90/100 n u nvr? how come she this and u that? thank god she stopped sumwhr along the way. comparing siblings, especially twins, in my view, isnt sumthing v healthy to do. i feel it's just totally insensitive.

I started out wanting to blog abt wadever tt came to my mind. i'm not sure how to end this entry but all i can say is, when u see us in the streets, dun ask us why we're not wearing the same thing or why we're not in the same sch or why we're not marrying the same man!