I was wondering today how it would feel to be a parent and as usual, my train of thoughts led me somewhere else. Not exactly linked but not totally unrelated either.
I'm not too sure about how it is with other siblings but as far as i'm concerned, this whole 'sister sister' thing did not come about very naturally for me and my younger sister.
For one, she was always this 'little girl' to me.
When i was about 5-6, i used to be busy preparing imaginary lessons and conducting imaginary classes for imaginary students,(ah yes, i loved to play teacher!). while she was this little toddler who was just learning how to take her first few steps. These were the earlier years where i very vaguely remember stuff. I dun know how i felt whe she was born. i don't know if i used to dote on her. I don't know when she took her first steps. I don't know if i was ever close to her. All i know now is that, she was this really little girl to me.
As i went on to upper pri and sec sch, jus as i was getting used to a few new 'rules' like "talk back to your parents whenever you can" and "hang out only with cool ppl" and "hang on the phone as much as you can" and "going home straight after school is totally uncool", she was this little girl again who had no choice but to succumb to every of my parents' demands and learn stuff i learnt eons ago like "matter is anything that has weight and occupies space."
Make a wild guess what happened after that? Well, when i was in Jc and herself in sec sch, it first hit me. "Oh my god.. we're both teenagers! she's no more the little girl she used to be!!" That realisation wasn't exactly positive. While i was coming out of those 'rules' i lived by for a few yrs, she's probably gonna start learning them. I cannot treat her like I used to say a yr or 2 ago, simply because she's no more a little girl! i can't say stuff like "DO WHAT I SAY IF NOT THE BELT WILL GO FLYING AT YOUR FACE!" because I can't expect submission. i can only expect attitude! and that's really gonna suck.
I used to wonder back in jc how I should go about with my sister. I rmb feeling suddenly like i had to be a role-model(HAHAHAH.) and i used to be very cautious about what I tell her. I avoided the topic abt my relationship altogether. Don't even ask me why. Call me typical but i was afraid she was gonna learn from me and find herself a bf too!
That was me a few years ago. If you know me well enough, you would know that me and nazeera are indeed very close now. closer than I ever would have guessed. we do have our occasional tiffs but tt's jus sibling rivalry and wad's sisterhood abt if u cant even fight with ur sister?
I wouldn't say we're how we are today because a miracle happened and we just became close overnight. that's why i started off saying the whole process wasn't quite natural. It didn't just happen. I can say very surely that we've both put in quite a bit of time and effort to get here. I rarely find a reason to keep anything away from my younger sis nowadays. (n of caz, she knows evrything about my relationship as well) we now have the give and take policy which goes sth like this: When i'm out with muzzy, u help me cover up. If u do anything silly, i'll help u cover up!
I've learnt quite a bit from this whole journey which is set to continue. 1, in any kind of relationship, you have really got to give and take. you can't just expect the other person to tell you about their experiences, you've got to share as well. 2, extremes do not work. you're doomed if you try to be overly authoritative with anybody. well it may work with some but as for me, i'm scared of the boomerang effect. 3, there needs to be trust. I don't belive in controlling every aspect of my sister's life. but i'm fine with her having her freedom(which my parents have problems trusting her with for reasons known only to them and god) on the accord that she doesn't break my trust. Simple.
Well yes, i think this is not totally unrelated to parenting.. with this, I hope i'll make a gud parent to my children in future.. All i can think of now is, "LUCKY KIDS!!" hahahaha. okie that's extremely thick-skinned and I shouldn't be thinking that far. till another time!
