.........

i dun mean to be harsh, but if u'd rather remain anonymous, i'd rather u dun comment on my blog. caz i like to keep it personal, i like it when i can relate to those who comment on my posts.thank god, i get to choose whose comments i wanna publish.heheh.

Blog etiquette.

Blogs have become very popular, haven't they? Every other person I know already has a blog or is wondering if he/she should start blogging.

Whatever reasons you choose to have a blog for, I firmly believe there are some etiquettes to follow. I know generally the perception with many people is "It's my blog, I write whatever I want, you're no one to question me." I am no exception. I have felt a couple of times myself that I should be allowed to express my views freely. And I still believe so. I haven't had any problems with that thus far and I hope to maintain it that way.

I was blog-hopping the other day and I realised there are only a handful who blog about issues they're probably passionate about. from politics to education to fashion. many others keep it at the personal level- like mine. I find some kind of happiness in penning down what happened yesterday or the day before and how i felt at that time etc etc. and i suppose that's fine. Plus it's easier for friends to keep in touch and find out about what's happening in each other's lifes. But there's alot of other things about many personal blogs that's really not fine.Of caz, these don't apply to protected blogs.


First, I don't think it's really nice to use your blog to lauch personal attacks on someone. Many do this for instant gratification. some take down the posts a while after publishing it, when they realise they've been too harsh. But you never know who has visited your blog already and truth is wad has been read, cannot be un-read. Whatever you put on your blog, it becomes public knowledge straightaway. That's why i feel you've to give enough thought to what you're publishing before you actually publish it. Because like it or not, whoever reads your blog is gonna judge you through whatever you're saying on your blog.

Second, I definitely will say quoting what someone else said on their blog and then insulting them is really not fine. I think it's basic courtesy that you ask for permission from the owner of the blog before quoting their views. because unless you've been granted permission, you should never quote what someone else says on their blog. And remember, when u disagree with someone's views, you're disagreeing with the post, not the person who posted it. That brings me to my third point.

If u disagree with someone's views and feel the need to comment, you're welcome to do so. But no name calling or insulting please. It reflects badly on you. If you're up for some healthy debate, that would be great. If you can't offer that, then don't bother wasting your time.

Fourth, for those who are on the receiving end of insults and arguments and comments that really don't seem to make much sense, just ignore them. Ignorance is sometimes the best defence against sarcasm and such insults.

Fifth, just because someone said something bad about you on their blog, it doesn't mean you have to think up a hundred bad things to say about them on your blog. Like i said, it's best to ignore.Unless of course you're competing  for the "who can get bi*ch-ier* title. Caz by getting back at the person, you're not gonna accomplish anything. Just wasting time. Like what suganya once said, "what people say about you is their business, not yours." how true.

These are some etiquettes I believe should be followed. You might not agree with all but well it's just my opinions. Have fun blogging fellow bloggersss.

don't/can't/have never/will never

i don't/can't/have never/will never and shud nvr ever attempt to understand 2 pple in this world - my mom and my uncle.

I had a bit of a misunderstanding with my mom last nite and i was realli upset abt it. nth annoys me more than being misunderstood. and when it comes to me, my mom tends to assume alot of things. and i'm nvr given a chance to explain. i think asking me wad i feel sometimes wud solve alot of problems. but i'm rarely asked wad i feel/think. caz the assumption my mom has is.. her assumptions abt me are always right. grrr.

and so i decided not to bottle up my feelings and i told muzzy evrything tt had happened, like i usually do. he has this way of putting things into perspective for me and his brain works at like gear 5 even at 1.am in the morning. he said i shud jus realli talk it out with her the next day. i know this confronting thing wudn work, not with me and my mom. and then i decided to send my mom this long long long long long msg explaining things out to her.this was at 7 in the morning. i waited and i waited and i waited but i nvr got any reply from her. n we were'nt even talking to each other at home. and at 9 at nite, she suddenly came inside my room, laughed as if she jus heard sth realli funny and said.. "thanks for the msg!"

i dunno how to react, mummy. and then i just replied saying "u can fwd the msg i send u to nafeesah but u dunno hoe to reply to my sms ah? " and she was still wearing a smile on her lips when she said "oh, fwd easy to do wad. reply must think alot' or sth like tt.

weird. like i said, i dun understand why she reacted the way she did. i was expecting some kind of silent treatment from her. n i was actually bracing myself for the cold shoulder. so unpredictable.

but wadever it is mummy, pls take tt serious msg seriously.pls!

like she's gonna read this, haha.

Twinss

Twins. Wad does tt word bring to mind? as for me, i picture 2 very very cute and adorable kids looking identical from top to toe. like this :

awww vv cute rite.. well being a twin myself, i had some of this very twin moments too..

Then..

& Now..

but of caz, me and my twin dun at all look alike. tt's caz we're fraternal twins. meaning we come from 2 seperate eggs. not like identical twins where the egg splits into 2. haha. even then, being twins, we're always asked a few standard qtns like..

-are u guys identical?

?????!!!!!?????!!!duhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo. do we look identical????!!!!  but evrytime we're asked this qtn, we smile politely and say "oh no, we're not identical. we're fraternal twins. =))))" n the reply we get is ==> "no wonder u guys dun look identical!" LOL. yes correct,we dun look alike.

and then some other qtns like "are u guys alike?", "do u guys feel happy and sad at the same time?" and "do u guys share the same interests?"

and our standard answer usually is "hmmm yeah certain stuff we're alike.. yeah sumtimes.. and no.. we dun realli share the same interests.." it became quite a routine and at times even a little annoying to be asked these qtns and to answer them! haha.

So i guess the perception is, as long as u're twins, u guys are probably very alike and haf the same interests and abilities.But twins, especially fraternal twins, are really jus unique individuals like everyone else. they dun share much similarities.

For example, naf can do beautiful henna art. like this:

If u asked me to do henna art on ur hand, it wud spell disaster.haha!

i haf felt at many pts tt there realli isn't anyone hu understands the real me as much as my twin nafeesah. i also haf felt at many instances that there's this special bond i share with her. but i've nvr once felt i was jus like my sister. nor haf i felt she was jus like me. when we younger, my mom used to dress us up alike, from our clothes, our shoes to the accessories.(i am 99% sure that up to at least 10 yrs old, our wardrobe looked identical) we carried the same bag. we went to same sch. we studied in the same class. we had the same pencil case.we had the same frens.we were in the same cca. and yes u get the drift. but things started changing after we went to different sec schs. tt's where evrything from the uniform changed. we had different taste in clothes. we had different interest. we joined different ccas. and we had different grp of frens. we no longer wore the same stuff when we were out. pple wud easily say we were sisters but no one even had a clue we were twins!

and now evrytime we're out at a relatives place for a gathering we get asked a different set of qtns like:

"why aren't u guys wearing the same thing?"

"why din u guys go to the same sec sch?"

"why din both of u go jc?" or "why din both of u go poly?"

no doubt we're twins but we are 2 individuals who haf totally different interests and abilities. as simple as tt.

and most recently, i get asked this qtn so much tt it is extremely annoying.

"ur sister wears the tudong rite? how come u dun wear ah? and summore u're the one who has gome umrah twice. how come she wears the tudong and u dun?u shud start wearing.!"

and my answer usually is "insha allah i'll wear it one day." i keep it at tt caz they're relatives and if u talk back against them, u're in trouble. But deep down i'm thinking..

1) what makes u think  i shud wear the tudong jus caz my sister does? and who are u to compare me and my sis? don't u know we're grown up now and tt we're 2 different pple?

2)who are u to come hint tt i'm not as religious as my sis jus caz i dun wear the tudong? religion is btwn me and god. u are no judge. and whethere i adorn the hijab - is my personal choice. do i become more pious jus caz i cover my head? from wad i noe, hijab is not jus abt covering the head. there's actually alot more to it. of caz, in a secular nation like singapore, hijab in it's purest form would be hard to follow. but still wud it be okie if i wore extremely tight fitting clothes with the headscarf? will u then stop telling me stuff like "u've done ur umrah twice and u still haven wear tudong.. but ur sister already started"?

i really dun understand. maybe u're meaning me well but comparing me and my sis is a totally wrong thing to do. i dun understand ur basis of comparison. and i'm almost 20, i like to believe that i have the maturity to deal with my issues myself. i like to believe that there will be a day when within me, there'll be this thing tt says "u shud start adorning the hijab." and tt's wen i really will.

so when pple compare us, it gets really annoying. from academics, to what we wear, to what we are.  just stop comparing us. In the past, my mom used to compare us too. "how come she get 90/100 n u nvr? how come she this and u that? thank god she stopped sumwhr along the way. comparing siblings, especially twins, in my view, isnt sumthing v healthy to do. i feel it's just totally insensitive.

I started out wanting to blog abt wadever tt came to my mind. i'm not sure how to end this entry but all i can say is, when u see us in the streets, dun ask us why we're not wearing the same thing or why we're not in the same sch or why we're not marrying the same man!

Beware : Perfumes haf mystical powers!

I never knew perfumes had mystical powers. I always thought perfume was used to give our body a pleasant, refreshing smell. but u noe wad? there's another side to it too. Yes - many of the gfs who break up with their bfs claim they knew deep down that the perfume they bought their bf a few months ago was the cause of their split. I'm not exaggerating but i've heard this many many times. for a while, it got me wondering if perfumes really did haf some kinda powers to spilt pple!and my conclusion is... i don't think so.

But superstitious beliefs as such still exist and i guess i'm not wrong when i say i believe many pple do practice them even today. the prob is some of the beliefs are jus tooo abstract for me that they seem ridiculous. Some tt i know off are:

• Don't buy perfume/shoe for ur partner– u guys will break up!!

• If a black cat crosses the street while u're walking – it's pure bad luck!!!

• If u wish upon a shooting star, ur wish will definitely come true
  

• 13 is not jus a number, it an unlucky one!

• Dun cut ur fingernails at night - again it's just pure bad luck.

• If your right ear itches, someone is speaking well of you. If your left ear itches, someone is speaking ill of you! bewareee!

• If u pull out a gray or white hair, it will cause ten more to grow in its place. (anyone who has white/gray hair, pls test this out and let me know if this is true! haha)

• If u break a mirror, it means 7 years of bad luck.

• If 3 people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first.

• If u see a baby in your dream, it signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings and a love affair may be blooming for you in your near future.

• If a woman dreams she is nursing a baby, she will be deceived by the one she trusts the most

• If you dream of death it's a sign of a birth, if you dream of birth, it's a sign of death.

If u guys noe anymore, pls share with me. these beliefs can get extremely interesting. hehe..

i won't be a hypocrite here, i actually used to belief that the 3 pple taking photograph thingy was realli true. evrytime i took a pic with 2 others, i scared myself thinking i was gonna die first! haha. but i've grown out of it now. it really doesn make sense to me. tell these to my mother's grandmother's grandmother's generation and they mite believe these beliefs without any questioning at all. but it's different now and pple nowadays are driven by logic and reasoning. and fact has it that both reason and logic are missing from most of these superstitious beliefs. how to believe them? yet many pple still do. maybe it's out of fear that there's sth to all these beliefs and failure to follow them mite mean them harm. i dunno.. but as for me, i think most of them dun make sense and i've felt alot of times that they actually conflict with my religious belief.

Naz also once told me rasheed bro got her a perfume. and no, they din break up. they're happily married rmb? muzzy once bought me shoe.. and no, we din walk out of each other's life or watsoever. in fact,we're getting closer each day. so now, can u make a wild guess wad i'm gonna get muzzy for his birthday next yr?? Yes yes!! perfume, shoes, handkerchief, watches, and maybe undegarments(jus in case someone comes up with 'u buy undergarments for ur bf and u guys will break up' hahaha) and then i'll wait and see wad happens. but sadly, i can say 99.999999999% nth will happen. caz i put my faith in god. and the prayers i make to him. not in the mysical powers of the perfume or the shoe.

Vj vs Surya

I jus cant understand why vijay is more popular than surya when all his movies are plain trash and most of the time, they dun make any sense. 1 movie he's superman, in another he's ultraman, doing stuff normal human beings probably cant do. on the other hand, surya's movies are worth watching. they aren't trash and he doesn portray himself to be some super human who can defeat 200 men all by himself. and yet he's not as popular. grrrrrrrrrrr.

i think the bf is a little pissed caz he took off yesterday jus so tt we cud meet but i jus had to fall sick. =(( and lately, i've been postponing the meetings soo yes.but it's not deliberate. thinking of how to appease him latr. i suck at this.. i'm soo not romantic. so i guess i'll jus appear sumwhr near his workplace and hopeee that he melts upon seeing me and gets baq to normal. hahaha.

i'm feeling kinda bad for a certain fren of mine, who's identity i cant quite reveal. i know it sucks when ur bf hides stuff away from u. i cant understand why u need to lie/hide stuff away from ur girl if u feel u aren't doing sth wrong. and if u feel guitly, u shud stop doing wad u're doing. and girls, if u happen to be frens with a guy who already has a gf, and if he devotes more time to u then he does to his own gf, i think it's time u do sth. and not jus say "i tell him many times that he should talk to his gf but he jus wont listen!' u can always press the 'end call' button on ur hp if he refuses to listen to u. jus dun be the reason why a developed relationship breaks.

How superficial..

My worst fears have come true - Muzzy's 2 timing me!! and this the best part : it's not a girl it's a guyyy called mohan! at least if it was some other girl, it would haf been better... wait wait, who am i kidding? equally bad both ways! and he claims tt i should brace polygamy. *sobsob* wad am i to do now?

lol, kidding.

But it's true that muzzy and i call his bestest fren his bf caz he's always out with him and they spend sooooo much of time together (god knows wht they do behind closed doors)that i'm overcome with jealousy! haha, enuf of the drama.

and yes, u'd see a poll on my page : Yakult vs Vitagen. rmb to vote kkk. ahaha

Okie, coming to what i've been wanting to blog about.
One of the jc mates, upon discovering that i was attached, said : "nas is attached???!!! definitely only because she's a nice girl...."
I'm not shocked at her comment, i was kinda expecting that from someone. I think the perception is that it's the gud looking girls with hot bods who are head turners and the likely to be attached sort.(there's this whole thing abt small is sexy gg on) i'm not gud looking nor am i anywhere near sexy. so it came as a shock to this girl in qtn and her likes tt i was even attached.

Another thing i observe is, anyone who knows i'm attached assumes that me, being the less gud-looking partner was after my bf. and they gimme the "err, really?" kinda expression when they find out it's actually the other way round.

I have one word for these pple : Superficial. Everyone is superficial to a certain extent. But if u make certain assumptions because of the way i look and because of my size, i'm disgusted. If u think that a girl who wins a beauty contest is worth more than a girl who doesn't, again i'm disgusted.

And i'm glad, very very glad, that my relationship is one that's nowhere near superficial. It makes me feel blessed tt whenever i get insecure, my other half looks at me lovingly and says "i don't care what others think. u're beautiful in my eyes."
i rejoice in the knowledge that this is a union that's based not on my looks nor my size. It's sth much,much deeper than tt. And yes, it really doesnt affect me that u think i'm attached only because i'm a nice girl. at least it's not for the wrong reasons like i've a fair and pretty face or a body thinner than the bamboo stick i haf at home. hahah.

Arranged?

I recently heard about a case where a girl’s very strict and pro arrange marriage father found out about her relationship and you could guess the kind of response his discovery elicited. Yes right, “it’s either family or him!” he ordered. I don’t quite know the status quo but all I can do is pity the plight of the girl for the daunting task that lies ahead. I’m prompted to ask: what’s so wrong about love marriages?! In a part of the world where dating is now quite a norm and an accepted idea and individual rights are emphasized upon, why are there still a significant number who tremendously oppose love marriages?

The most common argument I hear against love marriages is that when in love, both partners are at the “I need to impress” mode. They put up their best, do whatever it takes to impress their partner. It is after marriage that the couple get tired of the drama and you get to know who your partner really is. Problems then arise because both people behave so differently that it’s so hard for the other person to relate to. That’s when u hear stuff like “before marriage, he would write me poems every night. But nowadays he doesn’t even bother!” Does this point in the “love marriages don’t work” direction? I do not think so. The fault is with the individuals, not with love marriages. It’s the individual who fails to understand that relationships are about understanding your partner and not about trying to become your partner and doing everything that your partner likes. There are in fact many, many instances where love marriages lead to happy beginnings and endings. These are the cases where the 2 individuals have an insight to what makes a relationship work.

And then on arranged marriages, parents often insist that they know better and they themselves or a matchmaker would do a better job at finding a suitor for their daughter/son. Take for example my mom. She actually wanted me or my twin to marry a 27 yr old man!!! Can you believe it?! (I dunno if mom was serious but thank god he’s married now!haha) And this was after she discovered we already had bfs. The reason? “Oh he’s 27. No need to wait so long to get married. He has a car n he’s working already, he’s stable. Wad else u want?” tsk tsk. See, this is exactly wad i’m talking about. The matchmaker has priorities that are totally different or considered insignificant to the person involved. And yet parents think matchmaking would work? How so? You say you mean your daughter well and you’re finding her a match with her interest at heart.and yet you do exactly what repulses her like get her a match with little respect to her likings? with little respect to her rights that u deem them insignificant? Hmmmmmm. contradictory. I would say arranged marriages work only if the party involved is genuinely willing and is not forced.

I’m not insinuating that I am against arranged marriages or pro love marriages. I just wonder why there’s such a mindset to begin with. Why not accept it as it comes? If both the individuals concerned are pleased with a union arranged by the matchmaker, great. If they’ve fallen in love and wish to take their relationship to the next level and get married, so be it, let them be. Why oppose their decision? Why force upon your values and traditions on them? After all, marriage is the union of 2 hearts. What matters is both are happy. In my opinion, everything else is secondary.

And the 10 most irritating phrases are...

I read in the papers today that oxford uni has put together a list of 10 most irritating phrases.

They are :

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

Because the context is different, i couldn relate to all the phrases. But here's my version. top 10 irritating words/phrases. and since i find all of them like totally annoying, i'm not gonna rank them in any order.

• Awesome
  

how about other words like stunning, magnificient, over-whelming or breathtaking?

• I totally agree

i dun understand why but i hear this quite alot. maybe pple like the way 'totally' sounds!

• Like

it's like really annoying when you like try to use like over 5000 'likes' in like a few sentences.

• You know

i don't know.

• literally

not one day in sch passes by without me hearing this word. there really isn't a need to use the word 'literally' after every sentence! eg. 'he beat her up, literally.' he blocked her, literally'. huh?!

• random

this is the hit word! u can stop feeling random always already. haha.

• Let me be honest

were u lying thru ur teeth all this while?!

• Damn annoying

yet another hit. every little thing that goes wrong is 'damn annoying!'

• so unfair

yes everything is. tell me sth i don't know!

• wth

this word is sooo popular but i'll update it later caz i still dunno whatthehell it means!

i won't be a hypocrite and say i dun use any of those phrases at all. i do, definitely i do. but sumtimes when a word is used too commonly or misused, it has the tendency to irritate. oh yes, there's one more i wanted to add. it would defnitely top the list. using 'although' and 'but' in the same sentence. eg."Although he doesn't do his homework, but he is very clever" i hear this even in uni! can get frustrating i tell you. it jus beats me that even students who are supposedly good with their language make such mistakes.